Today ushers in a new era:

The Age of the Intern


This past weekend, the entire staff of my office (sans interns of course) flew to Madison for a staff retreat. In their absence, of course, the running of the office, the signing of official state state documents, and the making of important policy was left to the discretion of the interns. We're very powerful you know.

Truthfully, I spent most of the day trying not to flip out over the total disorganization that becomes inevitable in a place that is so overflowing with paper products - faxes, envelopes, mail, newsclips, etc. The Staff Assisstant's desk is the general repository for all these things, and I sat there for about an hour today before I felt a cold, dark despair creep into my heart. I routinely scold my Staff Assisstant for consuming several liters of Mountain Dew per day. I am now thinking of being a little more lenient with her.

Many things went wrong, but in retrospect they were small, and not the kind of things I should remember in a week. My day really brightened up when I got the chance to give my first tour. Now I've been obsessing over what a disaster my first tour would be for a few weeks now, and I knew I was overreacting. Not that that stopped me. By the time the family arrived today, I was glad to get it over with. The things I haven't done are always scarier than the things I have.

Luckily, the family I gave the tour to was fantastic. Like every Wisconsinite I've met since getting to D.C., they were friendly and talkative. I had no idea how different the regions of the country were until I came here. I've always had a vague sense that the South is in an alternate univerese, but I think I assumed that as Yankee regions the Midwest and the Northeast were roughly similar. NO. I reapeat, NO. I'm not going to pick on particular states but trust me, a little farm-country friendliness is something I'm getting pretty hungry for. At any rate, this family was sweet as can be. There were a few small mishaps, but overall they were just so pleased to be in D.C. that they didn't mind some bumps along the way. Also, we were able to help the father discover some information about his grandfather, who had been in the House of Representatives. I think we made their day, which definitely made mine.

This past week I went to my first briefing. Briefings are plentiful and usually open to anyone who happens to hear about them, so it's not as if I received classified information or anything. Nonetheless briefings are packed with info that I wouldn't normally have access to, and therefore I have fallen in love with them. I told my Staff Assisstant that I'd go to any briefing, and was immediately reminded to think twice before admitting to liking anything lest I get stuck doing it forever. Wise words which I did not heed. Luckily every briefing I've attended thus far has been thoroughly interesting, but eventually my strategy is going to backfire. I don't really listen to what briefings are about before volunteering to go - a tendency which led to the following conversation:

Staff Assisstant: Ok someone needs to go to a briefing for the Health LA. Whoever is interested in the topic can take it.

Me(raising my hand like I think I'm in school or something): Ohme oh me oh me!

Staff Assisstant: ...it's about frog mating habits in the tropics and their relation to 18th century colonial tax code...

Me: OH ME I SAID ME I SAID ME!

Staff Assisstant: ...and you'll be required to transcribe the proceedings word for word and do additional research on insect populations that serve as frog food....

Me: oh I love that topic! It's my favorite, I just can't wait to g---

exasperated Staff Assisstant: There is no possible way you are listening to me Meghan! No one likes these things, it is inhuman and and you are STILL not listening to me! So what do you have to say for yourself?

Me: So I can go?

(Staff Assistant throws briefing announcement at me and curls up in fetal position under her desk)

I need to take a moment here to recognize the incredible tolerance and dedication of Staff Assistants everywhere. Their pay is pathetic, they work until they don't remember why they pay for an apartment, and they are graced, day in and day out, with the presence of multiple interns not unlike myself. Moment of silence, folks.

I may have taken a few liberties with that conversation, but trust me, the truth is not far off. All of this is by way of saying that I went to a briefing on the new Human Rights Commission the UN is trying to create, and I liked it.

This is not to say I understood what was going on. They asked for questions at the end and I couldn't bring myself to ask the only question I could muster up - "Uh, once more from the beginning guys?"

This is because briefings are designed to make you feel like a small silly girl. Everyone there knows more than you do, and they smell fear, so don't even pretend you know what you're talking about. Luckily, I get to stay quiet and soak up information most of the time, so there is little chance for me to embarass myself. Even better news - I can go as much as I want! Scores of briefing notices come to the office every day, and my supervisor is very supportive of my ridiculous need to go to everything. I am lucky.

So ends my ode to briefings. More substantive things next time, I promise.

every day is a first day

After nearly two weeks of living in Washington DC I've come to the conclusion that it is nothing more than a huge playground, and what I'm supposed to do is pick my corner and my allies and my enemies just like everyone else. Not that my decision will matter much to anyone - interns practically flow through the Hill and disappear so quickly that the only ones who are immortalized are the ones with less than flattering legacies. Their exploits do make for good stories, though.

That said, the office I work in is far friendlier than most. I work for Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin, who is from the Madison area (2nd district Wisconsin). Perhaps because of Madison's substantial political activity, our phones are constantly ringing with calls from constituents and likewise the mail bags are bursting. I like it this way, though the direct effect for me is that I spend a lot of time dealing with the mail. I like the idea that the Congresswoman is serious about responding to the concerns of her constituents quickly and in-depth. I have learned that not all offices take such care. Like most interns I learn these things by talking with other college kids who are doing the same thing as me. I live with three other interns, and it's nice to get some sense of how other offices work from them.

I've gotten much better at navigating the phone system, and though I now have a personal vendetta against the copying machine, my office skills are shaping up nicely. I've never held an office job before, so while it is to a certain extent boring, I feel like I'm learning things that every adult in the workforce should know. My favorite job is actually data entry, in which I enter all letters that have been written to the office into a database that organizes them so the Legislative Correspondents can write the correct response letters. I like it because it is detective work. Many people don't understand the concept of PRINT your name here and SIGN your name here, so I've become an expert handwriting analyst. I also now know about a dozen ways to track someone down using reverse address searches and the like on the internet. My career as a stalker is assured.

I can't say I've contributed in any serious way to the office, though it is helpful that I am careful with my work. I get the most out of just listening to what goes on around the Hill and asking as many questions as I can get away with before I become annoying. For now, that is my plan of attack. As I get more comfortable, and my supervisors trust me more, hopefully I'll get to try new things as well. Long days certainly. But interesting, and thus far worthwhile.