I wish someone would just shake me one morning and say - hey, kid, you're leaving today so pack up your stuff.

That would be preferable to knowing I'm leaving, dreading leaving, getting excited about leaving, freaking out about leaving, and getting incredibly impatient all at once. The last couple of weeks are the worst. I am grumpy.

Being a college student, I pack like it's my job. Friends are somewhere else, family is somewhere else, half my stuff is one place and half in another. No one is where I am, except for a few people, which I will soon leave, making them again, not where I am. Therefore, I know the stages of moving loss very well:

Stage 1: Leaving? What are you talking about? I've got plenty of time left to do everything I need to do. I will obviously develop resolve and energy in the coming week that I never had before but am nonetheless confident will now allow me to do everything. Not worried.

Stage 2: Turns out I really am leaving. Not good. I have 23452345 things left on my list! I didn't savor each day like I should have! I need to devlop a battle plan. I will create a comprehensive list of everything left to do, allot time for each thing, and keep to the schedule with a complicated system of alarms on my cell phone. This is so doable.

Stage 3: It's not gonna happen. There is no physical way I can accomplish all of this. What was I thinking? If I can't do it all, I'll do nothing. I'll sit in front of the TV and watch marathons on Bravo. I have completely and totally failed as a tourist and a human being. I will have to pretend that I took advantage of every opportunity while out here, and hide the fact that I ate a lot of ice cream and bummed around with friends. My life is a lie!

Stage 4: Get me on the plane right now. I mean this second. Waiting around is killing me. Everyone and everything is obnoxious. Let's get a move on, folks.

Stage 5: No! My friends! I'll never see them again! Oh cruel world! Don't make me go!

...and then home.

Well, at least it's predictable. Time to do it again. Once more, with feeling.